La Poule au Pot is a saucy little number where you might entertain your secretary in the hope that she became your mistress. The darkness of the rustic interior is barely punctuated by candles, leaving plenty of scope for under-table naughtiness, whilst staff all have pleasingly authentic French accents. The food is similarly blue bloodedly Gallic – think unctuous onion soup, hearty bourguignon and crème caramel to die for. Forget you’re in deepest darkest London and whisk your amour to this top romantic interlude.

Price: £40-50pp. 231 Ebury St, SW1W 8UT. Tel: 020 7730 7763

Alright, this isn’t strictly Oval, but it’s about as close as we could find an interesting restaurant. And interesting really is the right word here. Volt has taken some bold risks and somehow come out trumps. It might be dressed up with neon lights and red velvet fittings, but it doesn’t feel like you’re eating in an expensive strip club. It does serve Italian food in mezze portions (though not exclusively), but you don’t have a subconscious urge to glass the chef for being a pretentious git. Somehow, against all the odds, Volt holds it all together, like a punk rocker miraculously performing a flawless set on the back of a three day bender. Yes, it might be an odd fish, but it’s a very tasty fish none the less.

17 Hobart Place, Victoria, SW1W 0HH. Tel: 020 7235 9696 Web: www.voltlounge.com